Watch Your Mouth!
I really hate to hurt people’s feelings. As sarcastic and snarky as I can be, I am usually the topic of the snark and sarcasm, and I especially hate it when I accidentally hurt someone’s feelings. I work with words for a living and I know how powerful they can be.
Because of my dislike of hurting people and my understanding of the strength of words, I try very hard to make sure my son knows how to monitor his speech. Or I thought I did.
The other day, I heard him say someone was fat. Thankfully, we weren’t close enough for the person to hear. The thing is, Nicholas was just describing the person, he wasn’t making a judgement (the person being fat was neither good nor bad). But, one day it will be a judgement and I hate that. I hate even more that it will be a negative judgement. And since I’m fat, that judgement will one day be placed on me. My baby will think negatively because I am fat. And I hate it.
More importantly, I don’t want Nicholas (and Tobin later) to be really focused on a person’s outside. So, William and I are going to work on it. We’ll work on not labeling people by how they look, even if we don’t “mean anything” when we say it. We’ll work on talking about how nice someone is, how smart someone is, how helpful someone is. And if we talk about someone’s outsides, hopefully we can find another descriptor. Also? I’m going to work on the whole being-fat thing so I can be around to teach my boys for an annoyingly long time.
How do you talk about people in your family? What do you say if your child describes someone negatively? I need tips!
How funny you just posted this. Two days ago, I heard my son say the same thing in the car re a woman outside. I wasn't sure if it was what I heard so I let it go. Well…last night I am sitting down and B says…mom…your fat. I reply…No I am not. He replies…look at your belly…it is fat. I wanted to die! Hence the talk (and diet…ha ha) started. He was not saying it harshly…he was just being honest. This is such a difficult situation!
Sherry… so funny how these these things happen. My sister in law just had a baby and C remembers seeing her pregnant and beautiful. When we came home from seeing the newborn C told me that I had a big belly just like her aunt. Ouch. She did not say it to be mean or insulting – she just called it like she saw it. I guess I need to do something about that huh? Another observation of hers is when she see elderly or even older men or women she calls them Pop-pops or grandmas. I dont think the real grandparents mind but she has said it about people with salt and pepper hair and people who may not be old enough to be grandparents yet, I hope they didnt take offense. I am with you on this one Sherry. Let me know what tips you come upon.