Widow Wednesday: What Did You Say?

My amazing friend Robin recently ran with the Widow version of “S%*t People Say” meme. She put a call out to her widow friends to gather the (mostly) well-meaning things that people say to widows and came up with this hysterical (maybe just to widows?) video:

I heard most, if not all, of these and one point or another. Most of the time, people were really trying to be thoughtful. Or at least not insulting. Y’all, these phrases are never thoughtful and are almost always insulting.

So, here’s the secret to what to say to a widow: “I’m sorry.” If you have the need to say something else, ask, “What can I do for you?” Those may be the two most important phrases a widow/widower can hear.

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  1. So, minus the dating bits, I have heard almost every single one of these in regards to Emma. And as for the children part – I would get, “You’re young, you can have more children”. Ugh. If people could HEAR what is coming out of their mouths they would just SHUT UP.

    1. Kim~It’s amazing how similar grief can make people feel and react! I don’t think people are intentionally mean, but holy moly are they clueless!

      1. It’s like we were talking about on the plane – people want to reassure themselves that it isn’t going to happen to them, so they say STUPID things.

        1. And death is soooo uncomfortable. It’s hard enough to talk with someone when an older parent dies or someone who is “supposed” to die is gone. When it’s a baby or a young husband? Forget it, it’s too hard.

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