I’m Fat. But That’s Changing.
I don’t like to talk about weight. As my very smart friend said, it’s like the elephant in the room. It’s not like I don’t know I’m fat, because I do. But I also know my husband thinks I’m hot, I’ve got a good smile that I use all the time, and I have a good shape. I’m not a healthy fat person. I know curvy women who are fit, but I’m not one of them. I want to be.
It’s difficult to talk about wanting to get healthy without talking numbers. I hate looking at numbers on a scale. Unfortunately, the easiest way to track progress on the fitness front is by counting pounds lost. So, I’ll be counting pounds lost (inches lost too).
I’ve been in the 200s on the scale for 18 years. Which means that I have been overweight for half my life. I haven’t run since I was 18. Before that, I was healthy and in good shape. I was always a fit kid, never overweight (despite what I thought as a teenager). I played sports in school and my body did whatever I needed it to do. Then I went to college and started eating my feelings and stopped exercising.
As much as I hate looking at the scale, it’s the number I saw this summer that convinced me to take this body and my health seriously. I hit 300 pounds in August. This was a holy-shit moment for me.
My goal weight (because progress is easy to track with numbers) is 180ish (I’m 5’8″). I’m tired of being tired, out of breath, walking slowly, not being able to get on the floor and play with my kids. I’m tired of using belt extenders when I fly and of none of my clothes fitting. I’m tired of not wearing shorts in the summer. I’m tired of being tired.
I’m starting a program at work that is supposed to jump start this whole healthy-living/weight loss thing. I hope you’ll join me here to urge me on and maybe yell at me every now and then if I need it. I’ll check in with you all each week. I don’t want this blog to turn in to a place where all I talk about is my weight, but I know a lot of you struggle to get healthy and we can all use the encouragement. I’ll talk with you all about what I’m doing both food-wise and exercise-wise and I would love to hear your tips and thoughts.
Here’s where I am now.
So…are you in?
I’m so proud of you! I’ve started and stopped that bandwagon so many times. I’m about 10 pounds overweight but I HATE those 10 pounds. And it comes from eating crap and being lazy. And sometimes I don’t think I possess enough will power to overcome either of those. It’s easier to choose not to be healthy. But I want to be healthy (false assumption: not all small people are skinny or healthy!)
I’ll definitely keep up with your progress and cheer you on!
Fadra~Thanks so much for coming by (and for the encouragement)! I can’t believe how hard this was for me to talk about. And I’m with you, it is definitely easier to choose not to be healthy.
And after I wrote that comment, I felt so stupid. You are putting yourself out there and I’m talking about MY 10 pounds. I don’t mean to be that person. I just mean that I understand how hard it can be whether it’s 10 pounds or 100 pounds. I’m in your corner!
Please don’t feel stupid! Weight & body stuff is way too personal for us to compare. I’m just glad you’re in my corner!
I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to hear more about your journey. Just keep your end goal in sight — and that’s being able to run on the beach & keep up with your boys. You can do this.
I heart you Ellen Evans!
I love that I can call you ladies my friends!
Ditto Bridget! <3
Saw this go by on the twitter stream and wanted to provide some encouragement. I am with you. I have always let me kids say the word. Fat is not a bad word, and it is true. And it is me. But I don’t want to stay this way. For health and life enjoyment. I have never cared that I wasn’t fit for the cover of the fashion magazines. But fit would be a good thing. So, 40 hit this month and I have to take some serious steps or I will always be that word. I am plotting, and I am planning, and I am hoping not to fail. I wish you good luck (and for myself too).
Jennifer! I’m so glad to see you here. I miss you in my Twitter stream too :). Yes, we are teaching Nicholas (and will Tobin too) that Fat isn’t a bad word, but that it can be used to hurt people. It’s a nuance that is sometimes hard for him. I would love to hear how it’s going for you too.
Way to go, and I’m in! Nora inspired me and now you are too. I have been doing WW (again) for almost 2wks. I weigh in on Friday’s. As of today I’m down 5lbs. Thanks for the motivation! Xo
Amy~I’m so glad you’re in with me! It’s so much easier to do hard stuff with friends. And we’ve done harder, right? 🙂
Facing your darkest demons helps you to fight. You can absolutely do whatever you want and I believe in you!!! You’ve got my support 🙂
Shelley~Thanks so much! I just wish the demon was in a smaller package 🙂
I’m so excited for you!!! You’re off to a great start! I wish we lived closer… I’d totally be your workout buddy! Like Amy, I am a huge fan of WW. It has really helped with the way I view food and portioning.
Thanks :). Your workouts are too hard core for me, but one day…
Woot Woot!!!!!! See that wasn’t so hard was it. Keep at it and remember (I told myself this when the boys were in the hospital a lot and for myself now), that everything is 2 steps forward and 1 step back, but you are still 1 step ahead so all is well. Bad days don’t equal failure, it means that you get to try again the next day. Don’t wait for the next week or the next weekend, start with the very next day. We can all do this!!!! Maybe another mommies trip for a reward for losing weight and getting healthy? Whatever the reward, just do it and quit making excuses. Xoxox Jen
CaliJen~Thanks so much my friend! I appreciate your insight.
Count me in too!!! I actually started doing the B12 diet 5 months ago and I have lost 56 lbs. It is more or less just calorie counting and I am using the myfitnesspal app which is awesome. I have been exercising every morning before work and when I started that, the lbs just really started melting off.
Good luck Sherry!! I know you can do this!
Christie~Thanks so much for coming over! Congrats on the 56 pounds so far, that is fantastic!
So proud of you!! You can do it!
Thanks for the push Greis 🙂
And Gries, too (see reply to Ellen above)
Me too, with you guys.
Way to go! And now you have a whole cheering squat behind you! Like Heather and Amy, I really liked WW. I also started my get-back-into-shape program yesterday. I plan to walk/run 5 days per week, and add yoga and strength training. The eating is the hardest part… I need to get back into meal planning and watching those portions.
I’m looking forward to following your progress, cheering you on, and being inpsired by you! 🙂
I also think it’s WONDERFUL that you have a program at work to help you out! I’m all about workplaces supporting employees in being healthy. My website has a collaborative blog that gives tips to organizations to help them implement wellness programs at work. What is the workplace program you joined?
Leah~I will probably pick your brain for tips at some point. Thanks for the encouragement!
I am so incredibly proud of you! You can do this! I had a similar freak out moment when I hit my pregnancy weight when I wasn’t pregnant (prior to the last baby). I didn’t stress about my weight when I was pregnant and I was a little too lax about it after she was born. But in November it all of a sudden hit me that I was headed back to that same spot. I still splurge. There are still weeks that I eat like crap and don’t exercise. I am still not at my target weight. But I feel better than I did 20 pounds ago! And knowing that I was able to do 20 just by modifying my habits slightly makes me confident that I CAN DO THIS! And you can, too! We can do it together fo’realz. 🙂
I’m so glad you’re in with me! And you’re a rock star for those 20 pounds
I am do incredibly proud of you. I know this was not easy to post. You can do this. I am right there with you babe. We will both be feeling so much better about ourselves next year at this time. You are not alone. xoxoxo
Thanks for that, my friend.
I am in! I am so frustrated at myself for neglecting my health for too long. I, too, recently began a new journey toward better health and a stronger, fitter me.
Best wishes on your journey! Kudos to you for finding the courage to talk about your battle.
We’re going to be so stinkin’ healthy Kimberly! Strong, that’s something I want.
You know it goes without saying that I am hear to cheer you on, kick your butt and be a shoulder to lean on. My reasons for my weight loss are a lot the same as yours. One thing I want to suggest- set small mini goals for yourself. Like kicking that soda habit you want to kick. If you set small goals as you go they are easier to obtain!
One other thing, I found that if I set a goal of “giving something up” one week and then the following week my goal was to walk an extra 500 steps per day it was like giving something up and then adding something new. In fact, as I gave up my soda I helped by every time I really wanted the soda I’d go for a short walk (around the house if necessary, the same amount of time it would take to go get the soda, open it, and take my first sip). Guess what? I started getting lots of extra steps in!
Kristina~That is a great tip, thanks! Luckily, several of the ladies in my department are trying to get fit too, so I’d have people to walk with me when I want to. I’m going to drag them along with me!
so proud of you. i will be your cheerleader from far away. you can so do this. i believe in you! xoxo
Thanks so much, Lisa!
Go Sherry! Bravo to you for taking care of your health, and not focusing too much on the numbers. Strong healthy women can move mountains.:)
Thanks so much for coming by Cindy! And strong and healthy is exactly what I want to be.
You can TOTALLY do this! I have all the faith in the world in you. 🙂
I need to get back on track, too: I feel awful lately (I’m actually afraid of a potential illness and completely denying I need to see a doctor – heck, I have to FIND a doctor here) and something has to change.
xoxo
I’m so glad we’ll change together! Now go find a doctor. 🙂
I am so proud of you for coming forward and trusting us to accompany you on this journey. It takes a lot of courage to talk about this topic. You CAN and will do this. I know it. And we will be there to support you each step of the way.
Lauren~Thanks so much! I know I can count on you to talk me down from the ledge 🙂